Why The TD Garden Is Better Than Fenway Now. (I Know It Hurts A Little.)

       It stings to admit it.  

       How could it possibly be true? Fenway Park? Bostons most sacred landmark? Its most hallowed sports ground? Home of Teddy Ballgame,Wade Boggs' mustache and the pure unadulterated glory of 2004? 

       Sadly, Yes. Fenway has lost much, if not all of its charm in the past few years. I'm not talking  about the physical layout of the park. Alas, I do pine for the old the advertisement free Green Monster with no seats on top of it, and I'm not a huge fan of bars and restaurants placed randomly throughout a ballpark, but those are just the necessary evils of the modern baseball business and part of what pays for our ballplayers fucknormous contracts. This is a depressing thought because it's only bound to increase with time. 

       "This shot of Adrien 'Comcast' Beltre adjusting his scrotum is brought to you by 'Planter's'. 'Have You Had Your Nut Today?'"

        It's gonna happen sooner than we think. But there's nothing you can do about that, sports are a business and have to generate massive amounts of income just to cover their expenses. The NBA hasn't made a profit in the past 3 years. LeBron James works for a struggling corporation. 

        No, my problem with Fenway Park and my subsequent love for the TD Garden, are purely the because of the people inside of them. 

           Come to Boston! See the Freedom Trail! Eat at Legal Sea Foods! Say Something A Little Racist! Catch A Game At Fenway

"Look for us on TV talking on our blackberries!"

    Yes basketball has always attracted just as many haves as have-nots, with it's high priced - high profile courtside seats but Boston is a baseball town again and Fenway has become the new place to see and be seen. I lived in NYC from 2001 to 2009 getting to Fenway on average about 4 times a year, more so  in 03, 04, 05, less so in 06,07,08. The number of changes Fenway has gone through over these years are staggering.  Somehow slowly but also seemingly overnight we went from being one of the most knowledgeable stadiums full of true, mostly local baseball fans, as well sarcastically hilarious and unwaveringly proud and rewarding of good play , and turned into a ballpark full of yuppies, tourists, hot chicks and their requisite douche escorts, and Japanese people.

    For the record I am absolutely fine with the Japanese people.

    This last season I was lucky enough to attend many games. I lost count of how many, but it was one every couple of weeks or so for awhile, with a break, then a bunch at the end of the season as tickets became easier to get than a bruise at Ben Roethlisberger's "Sopranos Finale" Viewing Party.  

     I was extremely lucky to go to the third home game of the year against the Yankees. This is of course one of the best tickets of the year not only because its against New York but because there's nothing better than April baseball when the stats are clear and the schedule is wide open with victories ready to be mounted. I got the tickets from a buddy who has season tickets so I imagined I would be surrounded by fellow ticket season ticket holders i.e. "real" fans.
 I wasn't.
 I'm aware how elitist this sounds. Anyone has a right to go to a Red Sox game, and any crowd should contain all types of people, but what I'm trying to say here is that Fenway is dominated, if not infested with yuppie scum like bed bugs on an Allston Bike Messengers girlfriend's distressed and faded skinny jeans. (specific!) However, there was one of those classic old fenway couples next to me with the flannel shirt and the score card. These people are a rare glimpse of what was and remind me of the little old mans house from "Up.".

    Fenway Park also exists so women from New England can take pictures with their boyfriends to put on facebook. At every game I went to this year I saw about 6398 couples taking pictures with the field in the background. Everytime the guy had a look his face like his balls were being twisted into the shape of a vagina and the girl has a look that says "I'm putting this on facebook and then Jen is gonna know what the FUCK is UP!" If you are a woman in New England, you're relationship is not truly valid until there's a picture of you and your man at Fenway. If it's at a Patriots game its kinda serious and if it's at a Bruins game the guy probably got the tickets for free. But Fenway? That shit is real.

    

          
                

              

The Author is often goaded into douche baggery by fellow comic Kyle Ploof.

 Ok. Say you can take this. This is annoying, but whatever. It's a facebook/cellphone society right? People do this everywhere. And you gotta make your girl happy. I get it. Fine, if people taking photos, texting and doing anything but watching the fucking baseball game doesn't bother you enough, how about the fact that the majority of ticket holders (not fans) are just overall morons chomping away on concessions while talking about whatever it is people with 2 biological and one adopted kids in top notch private schools talk about. 

       As I said before I was at the 3rd game of the season, against the New York Yankees and it was a 1-1 tie in the sixth inning. About half the crowd had left. The Sox did eventually lose that game. But it was tie game, and no one was there. Many of the people that were still there did the wave every five seconds and sang Sweet Caroline.  I remember this being a cute thing that happened after we won home games. Now it's a song that gets played every time a crowd is assembled in America.

This is that game. My brother in law was with me.

      
           I'm starting to sound like Earths hemorrhoid Andy Rooney and this is a Celtics blog, so now that we all now what sucks about Fenway these days. (And if anyone disagrees with me please let me know, I never hear anyone say anything good about the people there. Also a note : I still love the ballpark and the team, best ballpark in America, I am just displeased with the current climate is all..)
          Thank God For Celtics Fans.
          Being a Celtics fan in Boston is almost like being a member of a cult like Scientology or AA. (I kid.)
Many people in Boston wish the Celtics well, hope the best for them, would love to see "the team" do well again. I appreciate these people and their well wishes, but what many of them are really saying is "I loved it when Bird, McHale and Parish were eating up playoff games between bong rips, I would like to see something like that again."
          But true NBA knowledgeable Celtics fans are out there but if the Red Sox are Dunkin Donuts we are definitely Honey Dew. You know us, we're out there. You live near one. But we're outnumbered 6 million to one. But we are out there if you are looking, in greater numbers than you think. One place you can find these fans on any given night is at The TD Garden or as Kevin Garnett calls it, The Jungle.

Here's The Jungle Screaming "Rondo's Better!!!" At Mike Bibby.


          The current Celtics fans at the Garden are absolutely ferocious. The last game I went to last season was a playoff game against Orlando, the first game I went to this year was a pre-season game against the Raptors. The energy was only slightly less. "Let's Go Celtics!" chants erupt in the escalators riding up to the mezzanine. Almost everyone there is wearing green. You can simply just feel the energy and positivity in the atmosphere.
          Perhaps this is a reflection of the teams "Wins First, Stats Later" mentality who knows. But at this moment in history Celtics fans are doing right what Red Sox fans are doing wrong. Simply : Caring. Just as in you cannot fake love, a marmot cannot fake an orgasm, and an arena cannot fake genuine enthusiasm. It's what gives the Celtics a better home record than other teams. It was helps that final shot slip in. Its what causes fear in the hearts and minds of our foes.
If you don't believe me go see a game.
You will see many hot chicks and douche bags, but they will know Semeh Erden's favorite food.
Ok maybe they won't but they won't be wearing pink celtics hats, punching players in the face and most won't be able to give you directions to the LL Bean outlet.
Go to the Garden and see who's really "keeping" the faith right now in this city.

"It's all good in the Jungle. baby." - KG