HOLY SHIT

Dude, going to acting school totally paid off. Just ten years later I'm finally getting straight cash to read jokes
on a web series on a much better sports site than this one called Tauntr.com.
If you're interested , the story goes like this : Occasionally I still get called into auditions because my name is on a million lists of 6 foot tall white dudes from all my years of cattle calls for Taco Bell commercials. If something calls for a stand up comic or involves a green screen I'm only on a list of 6,361. I went on a few auditions and a "call back", which is a show business term for "we may actually make eye contact with you on this one".
Luckily for me they called me last week and said I got the gig and my callback had been used for that weeks episode and I could go and watch it online at that moment. A very cool and surreal experience so far and the people who do the show are fucking nice and relaxed. Only downside is I gotta get up at 7 in the morning to do the damn thing. Ah well. At least I can catch the Nate Berkus show in its entirety.



Here they are, available weekly at Tauntr.com

WHAT THE F*** IS HAPPENING?

               April can be a tough month for a sports fan in this town. If you like basketball and baseball pretty equally, this month puts you in the position of being excited about the new season of baseball and watching your basketball team sleepwalk its way to the playoffs trying to maintain a great record without blowing out any knees or whatever random injuries await the beleaguered Celts. Has anyone ever considered that maybe sports doctors have gotten too careful? Guys spend half their careers sidelined these days with the most mysterious of medical issues ranging from migraines to the always mysterious "flu-like-symptoms" which I always assume to mean, hungover or some sort of punishment for smoking weed.

          


















               This April has been compounded by the fact that the Red Sox are off the a 0-4 start after everyone under the sun predicted the Red Sox to go 162-0. As any Kansas City stripper will tell you, the baseball season is an extremely long one, it takes up almost half the year and teams go through slumps at all times of that year, even the start. The real story about the Red Sox losing the first three games is that everyone seemed to forget that The Rangers are gang of sluggers who can crush the ball repeatedly out of their own ballpark, which they proved repeatedly in the Opening Series. 
             Speaking of the Red Sox being overly valued to start the season, I was watching hours of MLB TV to prepare myself for the upcoming season and fantasy drafts (and honestly just to watch something that looked like it was taking place someplace warm and green) and on the show I was watching they kept saying that the Sox haven't won a World Series since 2004, which is not only a gross error for a network that only covers baseball, but also a clear sign of how the people see the Sox. We're a great team, perhaps a Miami Heat like team made up of stars and money, but are we winners? Gamers? Do the Red Sox really fucking care? That's what remains to be seen.
                Baseball signifies the beginning of Spring and the end of the brutal New England winter, spring basketball meanwhile begins the slog into the much too drawn out NBA Playoffs , where the best basketball of the year is played. I do believe the Celtics are just fine right now maybe even playing possum a bit, they also seem just as bored with themselves as most of us are. My grandmother could tell you right now that if the Celtics stay healthy they're as good as anyone in the playoffs, except maybe Chicago or LA. 
         So let's not panic Boston, the Celtics are still an amazing team and as of today 4 1/2 games off the best record in the NBA and will not repeat last years mistakes. As for the Red Sox, I'm predicting MVP years from Pedroia and Ellsbury. The new guys won't wow anyone till later in the season though. I also think Lester and Clay are the meanest 1-2 in the bigs right now and I think our bullpen is our biggest weakness. 
        But what the fuck do I know it's April. So just root for your team and hate the enemy. 
     This is Jorge Posadas , the ugliest anal wart on earth's wife. 

Laura Posada

TYPICAL NY DOUCHE