HIP EPONYMOUS: January 2011

I was at the Garden last night and it was, as the NBA would say, "Amazing." Not only was the place chock full of NBA Legends with Reggie Miller, Patrick Ewing and Doc Rivers (of fucking course) in the house. But the amount of talent on the court was awesome. How many Hall of Famers were on that court?

The crowd was electric from start to finish, you could literally feel the temperature in the place

heat up. People were ripping off layers like there was a winning Powerball Ticket hidden

beneath their GAP hoodie. The game was on TNT and whenever you're at a Nationally Televised

Game there are always a lot of breaks and the game takes forever. Sometimes that sucks, but

last night it just created more and more tension between the teams and more fire inside the Celts.

In the 4th Quarter The Garden felt like a College Arena in the Final Four or at the very least an Eastern Conference Final. At this point Ray Allen caught fire like only he can and was dropping perfect rim avoiding 3's with the D draped across him like a Mr. 3 Point America Sash and it was

like watching an amazing illusion.
Magic Tricks.

Then this moment below happened and we could relax. Gino was never coming out of course, but the cigar was lit here and we all went home as better people for what we had just seen.

The Jungle reigns supreme in the best sports park/ arena in town battle. The Fans were knowledgeable and in symphony.
I think we learned over the past few weeks what KG means to this team, here's hoping the Big Ticket doesn't get ripped up again anytime soon.

-W

   When I was engaged in the never ending battle between hormones and lower leg pain that is being 14 years old I had a friend who's Dad had a very important job with The Boston Celtics. We both went to a small school , played on the same basketball team and hung out with a group of about 5 guys who decided to occasionally take breaks from jerking off 52 times a day to play hoops, talk shit and often thanks to this kid go to Celtics games and sit in fantastic seats. Another great part about this was the access to the behind the scenes world of an NBA team, and at this time, a really fucking shitty NBA team. I saw a lot of amazing things in those couple of years I was friends with this kid. Antoine Walker was typically gregarious and moody. Pervis Ellison was a sulking mass of unreached potential. Bruce Bowen was a young player just trying to stay in the league and Paul Pierce and Chauncey Billups were simply young flies on the wall taking it all in. I smelled Red Auerbach's cigar smoke from two rooms away before I met him and he told me to "-go down to Fanueil Hall and look at my statue."
   Also the first black man I ever saw naked was Dee Brown. Being white, of Irish heritage and 14 years old, this was a pretty disheartening moment in my life. This is one of the coolest periods of time in my life but I rarely even talk about it, even with friends, because it's juxtaposed with me and my buddy just being goons and not really even appreciating how fucking cool the whole thing was. However, I did learn a very valuable lesson during this time. Rather, the lesson took another 10 years or so to be learned, but this was the beginning of it all, the very first in a series. I met Micheal Fucking Jordan.
   The 1997-1998 Season was a shitty one for the Bulls. They were finally winding down off of that three peat and starting to have all the typical problems of Post Championship a team that thinks "they are all All Stars now.". Phil Jackson wanted off this uncoachable Titanic, Scottie Pippen was asking for a ludicrously large contract 2 years too late. Despite this nonsense they still made the playoffs and Jordan was named MVP for the 5th and Final time. During this season on Halloween Night the Celtics shockingly beat the defending champion Bulls 92-85 after a huge 2nd Half effort from Dana Barros and rookie Chauncey Billups. So to be fair, you can imagine Michael was not in the best mood when I met him. I was ushered with my buddy (who was the real guy getting introduced, I was like the Turtle to his Vince standing there like an asshole) to Jordans small private converted trainer room - locker room next to the one the rest of the team used. I saw Phil Jackson answering a reporters questions with a really scary look in his eye. As we were being brought into the room by a super important dude who I will not name, but nonetheless one of maybe 8 people in the building that can walk up to MJ without a problem, and MJ just glares at us all. "Not now." Then he looks at a guy in a Bulls warmup and we're ushered out. The VIP who brought us gave us a look like "Welcome to life." and moments later, MJ came out, halfheartedly shook our hands, denied two children under age 8 his autograph and got in a town car as the rest of his team got on a bus. I learned a lesson that would take me a few more snubbings and awkward conversations with athletes and celebrities over the following years. Trust me, it's better to just stay away, admire from afar and maintain the fantasy. You always either find out the person is a dick or that you yourself are a total dick who should never speak again.

Kobe tells Rondo that sometimes "No" means "Yes".

That's why I'm saying right now, if I ever walk into a Dunkin Donuts and Rajon Rondo is getting a large Iced with Skim milk and a Turbo Shot, I will walk right on by and put on my visor and get to work. Ok I kid, but I wouldn't fucking talk to him. Do I think Rondo is a dickhead? Absolutely not. Do I think Rondo is a great guy? I don't care.

   All I care about is how Rondo plays and how he acts on the court, but that's where some of his attitudes cause alarm with my inner purist. Last night I stayed in from dragging out my crappy post Holiday mood into a Comedy Club to stay in and watch the Celtics take on the beleaguered Rockets. If you didn't watch it, the Celtics had less defense than a quadruple amputee and The Rockets had their way with the C's.
   The reason I decided to write about Rondo today though was an instance witnessed in the 1st Quarter. After a steal on a gamble on Chris Rock doppelganger Aaron Brooks, Rondo had a clear breakaway path to the basket with all the time in the world to lay it in, dunk it, or take it out to dinner. However for the second time in two games, Rondo stopped on the break, dead in front of the basket, handed the ball off to Ray for the assist. So he tacked on an assist. Some may read this and think, "So what? It was the 1st Quarter of a game we were supposed to dominate and he just got a triple double and blahblahblah".
Garnett, West and Perk all sitting on the sidelines Rondo should not be thinking about anything but getting the orange in the hole. After his triple double last week Rondo said to a reporter something along the lines of "It's always nice to get an individual achievement, but it's all about the win and the team." . Maybe, but not totally.
   Rajon Rondo may have a lot more in common with Michael Jordan than great handles.

   Alright, let's not be too hard on him. He's a a young player on an old team, and don't all young guys in the NBA have a a little swagger that's crucial to surviving in the league? Maybe, but Rondos Id has become, at times, an issue. Here's a quote from a great Jackie MacMullan piece about Rondo. (http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/playoffs/2009/columns/story?columnist=macmullan_jackie&page=Rondo-090423)
     "Two seasons ago, before the banners and the plaudits and applause, when Rondo was in charge of a team that won just 24 games, he'd throw a no-look bullet and when it was dropped out of bounds he'd roll his eyes in exasperation. If he set up a shooter for the open jumper and it clanged off the rim, the shooter was subjected to the Rondo stare, a look steeped in disdain and aggravation. Rivers hauled his supposed floor leader into his office and asked him, "Do you know your teammates hate playing with you?"

   Hmm. The phrases "healthy ego", "swagger", and "cocky" are also routinely tossed around in the media by members of the team and the organization. These can be honest praise but it can also be a sort of hidden code for "despite him, we win.". In the same Jackie Mac article Danny Ainge said "The single biggest thing with him, is getting him to compete night in and night out." These quotes are not new, they are from 08 and 09, so has he changed or gotten worse? Well, when I see him tossing easy baskets to Ray Allen to pad his stats, I shake my head like Michael J. Fox being asked if he's on coke.

The boys on Halloween. Rajon went as fellow enigma Tiger Woods. That's Delonte being V for Vendetta ( ! ). BTW see what NBA players eat?

   It's not up for debate that Rondo is one of the top PG in the NBA. He's got the ring and the steals and assists to prove that. He can stop griping about going 21st in the 6th round and about D. Rose.
   Seeing Rajon Rondo play in person is something that cannot be described in words, the flow and speed can only bring yuppie-like contrasts to jazz and Mark Twain with the racism left in. Rondos signature "Fake Around The Back Pass To Floater/Lay Up In .43 Seconds" has become the most imitated playground move since Allen Iverson broke ankles like he was auditioning for a re-make of "Misery". Rondo is starting to explore his scoring more and more, and according to Doc, has been determinedly working on improving his jump shot, the most glaring lapse in his skills.
   Rondo is the future of this team, our beloved Boston Celtics. The past few years, right now, and the couple coming up may be it for awhile. If you were around just 5 years ago we were absolute junk. A year in year out developing rotation of undervalued youth. This could easily happen again, as Ray, Paul and KG all retire, Rondo will be the star, captain and official leader of the Boston Celtics. It's impossible to know what the future holds or what types of players will surround him. But will Rondo mature? What kind of veteran will Rondo be? What kind of leader will he be? Only time will tell, but watch closely and if you see Rondo out in public, Do what I do, avert your eyes and think about Dee Browns dick until you calm down.